Are you a self-leader? Check it!
Ten ways for perfect Self-Leadership
I love the idea to support people and to make someone happy, as coach and trainer I guess this is the real objective of my activity. There is a big difference though in doing something for someone or showing someone how to do it, so that he or she can do it alone once that I am not there to support him or her. This is for example the essence of the work of many associations that help people to build up a new life.
Self-leadership is about it: how to create a life, a successful mindset, is about putting heart and mind together.
In the past many times I found myself in the situation of knowing exactly what to do but that for some strange reasons I was not able to move a finger. Self-leadership is the art to influence yourself, is about taking decisions in an effective way, it is a mindset that will lead you to a happier and successful person.
Through my experience as coach and trainer, and working as career counselor for students, I came to the conclusion that there are 10 important factors to take into consideration in order to be successful in life and improve your self-leadership skills. Surely there are a lot more, but I summarized here the result of my reflection and own experience.
- Be aware of who you are and what you want
You know yourself better than what you think. Observe your reactions, accept your limits, get to know yourself better and better. Ask for feedback, and feel you. It is important to know who you are for your further development, for a further improvement of the relationships with others and for the fulfillment of your needs.
- Be aware of your strengths
We always tend to work on our weaknesses. Make stronger what is already big, make yourself unique and be proud of it.
Your language is your reality, the way you talk and the words you say are telling stories about yourself, about your thoughts and attitudes. There is a big difference between “I must go to work” and “I want go to work”, for example. Rely on changes in your vocabulary, say new sentences loud, avoid negativity and be aware of what you want to achieve. This is not only the case with verbal language: it is applicable to the nonverbal language as well.
- Eliminate negativity from your life
Sometimes it is not only a question of language. I am sure that you have make the experience at least once in your life to have someone around you with a negative attitude and that this person gives you a strange feeling of insecurity and sadness. Well, it is hard for a lot of people, but you don’t need it! Stay away from him or her, keep in mind what you want and remember that a positive attitude is the best resource for reaching goals.
- Keep in mind your direction
If you know what you want and where you are heading, than you will see a lot of opportunities that will cross your life path. It will be easier to detect chances, to stay on your way, and at least, to get what you want.
- Learn from mistakes
We all do mistakes, and it is good so! When you do a mistake you learn what is right and wrong. The important part of the learning process is to stop and think, to reflect what you did and how you could do the mistake. Reflect on how to avoid it next time and establish rules for yourself: self-leaders will follow these rules.
- Learn from your emotions
Emotions are there to warn you, to help you and support you in your decisions. If you are happy it means something, if you are sad it will mean something else. An emotion that many of my clients detect is fear. Why do we see fear in a negative way? Fear can help us detect ways and limits, fear is warning about possible mistakes and about the dark part of the future, the unknown. Emotions let you understand which persons you would like to have around in your life and are helping you when you need to take a decision.
- Don’t complain: action required
Being a victim does not help at all. Complaining all the time has a good part: you don’t need to do anything; it is confortable and cozy. Take the part of the pilot and be responsible, take action, go for it. Face conflicts, difficult conversations, they will make you stronger. It is easier to complain: “nobody loves me”, “I cannot find a job anyway”, “I see you hate me”. Meet people to solve difficult situations, do not hide yourself behind a phone message, start to apply for jobs, welcome networking and job possibilities, and I am sure that nobody hates you.
- Welcome change
Without change I would not be here writing my blog in a laptop. Without change we could not cure a lot of illnesses we could not cure 100 years ago. Without change I could not work internationally without big effort. So: Welcome change! Change is opportunity, and if something goes wrong, we will learn from mistakes. Change is forming us, is giving us the chance for a better life.
10. Celebrate your success
Celebrate your success with friends or alone, it doesn’t matter, but do it. After big efforts let a big party follow. Or buy something you wanted to buy for a special situation. Being happy is part of our life, and it is good, make you feel proud of your efforts and of who you are, how you behave and what you can bring to life.
It is not hard to be a self-leader. I wish you a successful life and more than this, a happy life at the side of other self-leaders and always optimizing your Self-Leadership skills. Take your life in your hands and enjoy.